Medicated depression, day #878
I got pulled into a meeting room today, given an ultimatum.
Either I quit then and there, or I have 3 months to improve.
By "improve" they mean that I get thinner and healthier, they gave information about medical treatments of how to loose weight fast and pointed me at other staff that had used it to "loose 20 kilos in a couple of months", "so-so lost about 50 kilos in 6 months".
Apparently my closest manager had argued for me to give me another chance while his manager argued that I should go today, but that if we could agree he would settle for 3 months.
I'm stunned. I really don't want to lose my job, I really like it and I work with really smart people, our company culture is fantastic and revolves around constant learning.
I knew this day would come, even though I have tried to exercise more and longer, it wasn't enough. Now I have pressure to medicate to lose weight, which feels weird. I'm thankful that I didn't have to leave today but also a bit shocked that the day arrived.
I told them that I would go ahead with any help I can get, to loose weight and get thinner. At the same time I'm sad and emotionally stunned, I thought I'd get through this on my own .. without medications, chemicals or surgery.
I was wrong.
I'll seek appointments tonight to get this started. I got a link from one of the managers to some scammy looking site that pushed for some miracle solution, "loose weight fast with
I'll talk to my wife about this as she has already done this journey but in a different setting, with a different set of requirements.
I need to solve this, within three months. At least get started and get down the road, to give them some sort of assurance that I'm following their instructions.
This is not improving my mood. At all. No dark thoughts or anything, at least not yet.