Medicated depression, day #46
Wednesday, that means breakfast at the office. I had a light breakfast at home as I need to first take my medications and then wait a certain amount of minutes, then I can have coffee .. which won't be sloshed down without a few sandwiches or it would break my stomach as I take my coffee black, as sin.
Breakfast at the office usually consists of a deli-shop-made sandwich for the whole office gang, tribe, group, team or congregation, which-ever label suits best for a group of grumpy men aged 35 to 50+
There is a new guy joining today, a new hire that belongs to the other office but are based around here, was employed and contracted since Friday but doing their first day today.
Slept really bad, like at most 3 hours.
Later: had lunch with colleagues, interesting discussions. Came back to my desk and my head feels empty. The amount of self-doubt is high, confidence is low .. brain is mushy. I'll make a few more attempts to get things done, have yet another refactoring "project" or application, the last one .. on this customer at least, the last one planned. There is many unknowns as we inherited an non-complete environment where things were set up half-assed.
Later: super-tired, no coffee helps. Feeling some kind of hot-flash, just like a start of fever .. just below breaking a sweat, not doing anything physical, just sitting back and coding. Low-key headache rolling in.
Later: Scary, colleague just got a message from son, who is in lock down at school, as there is a potential shooter on location, "a guy with a gun". Colleague left immediately to pick up daughter and to find out what is going on at sons school.
Later: monitoring local media to see if anything turns up. Very distracted by this. Emotional. Another colleague has a sons girlfriend at same school, also worried.