Medicated depression, day #34
Slept a bit over 7 hours this night, that is about 2.5h more than usual, my average are 4.5 - 5 hours each night, as back pains wake me up or I go to bed late because of chasing demons .. in my head.
I woke up in the middle of the night and remembered what I just had dreamed, situations where my Ex and her daughters were celebrating something in our old house with the house full of friends, school graduation or similar. I don't know why I dreamed about that, it actually happened like 12 years ago.
Got new medication from Sunday, which needs to be taken 15 minutes before I eat anything, so grumpiness ensured.
Alone at the office this Friday morning, was alone whole day yesterday, got stuff done, hoping to get even more stuff done today but will run into blockers as large chunks of infrastructure is missing.
Wife are planning trip abroad for next Christmas, saving up for tickets, I'm worried about my mom, who where crying her eyes out last Christmas about having cancer and not knowing if it would be her last or not, going away next Christmas is .. something we have to think about and check that moms health is ok first .. on the other hand, we haven't seen wife's relatives since 2019, both have priority but in different ways.
There is other things going on as well, like arranging for paperwork to be completed, registering for citizenship for son, marital proof for spouse-visa for me and everything has to be translated by a registered translation service.
This year is going to be different from last year, hopefully less expensive, hopefully less stressful.
Later: A colleague popped in and we had lunch, continuing to refactor code. I wish I could leave now (just after lunch) as I'm feeling a massive headache coming on .. but I'll stay til the end of the day, I need the hours as I've been absent a lot this month, doctors appointments, mushy brain and headaches. I get these tension headaches from wrinkling my eye brows, sometimes it proceeds on to develop into fully blown migraines, where I need to sleep it off.
Later: The colleague just left and I'm alone again, still refactoring code. All the small wins where I refactor code and the error count decreases feels good, knowing it will soon be possible to compile and start regression tests, to make sure nothing have been broken.