Medicated depression, day #275
Just came home from the office and today's work hours, still on 25%.
Was reached by bad news last week, my old teacher from second and third grade, as well our neighbor and friends mom, had passed away not long ago. She was kind, strict and curious, I think she understood that I had something going on and weren't like other kids, as she gave me extra tasks and homework. She challenged me and I got out on top.
Thank you A-K and I hope you find peace and are pain-free, where-ever you are.
On Friday I went to our head office in a nearby city with a colleague, attended meetings and hung out with members of my new team, it was fun but tiring, came home and crashed on the couch. Slept.
Today, at the office, I was working on a few tasks, gathering information about our internal LANs across the whole enterprise, to be visualized and whatnot, I fell asleep a few times while working, as I could not stop myself from nodding off, that after the almost normal nights sleep .. complicated thoughts are very tiring.
Later: I woke up the other morning very sad, I had dreamed lots of people around me had died, just dropped dead, without warning or anything, friends and family, just dead. As I went up to have breakfast and coffee it piled on, as I remembered more and more of my dream, the sadder I got. I got no time to process or think it through as I was tasked with being an adult at sons birthday party, six 11 yro running around .. high on sugar and adrenaline ..
Wife did not understand why I was moody and I could not express how sad I was as I would then need to explain the whole thing, she was grumpy and I was sad, son were jumpy and didn't know anything.
I need to express myself more, communicate my feelings and thoughts better. I have missed brain dumping here in this blog, as I feel relief when I have written a large chunk and pressed "publish", knowing it is out and done with.