Medicated depression, day #196
Woke up, had breakfast and took my medications, checked how much I had slept, almost 9 hours!!!
But still I feel mushy in the head, poured in some coffee but that didn't make any difference. I'll take a short nap this afternoon and go to bed early tonight.
On Monday I'll go to the office, to try out that 25% work load with colleagues .. this past Friday I was at the office for ~2 hours, alone, managed to parse most mail that had accumulated over the 3 past months, sorted what needed sorting and deleting stuff that wasn't needed. Some 300+ mails in the inbox down to zero.
I'm not sure about how I feel to start working again, uncertain of my performance levels, as I could not stay focused while parsing mail and when I let the updates run for more than 30 minutes doing some Windows Updates on the machine, I zoned out and almost fell asleep. But time will tell, I'm gonna inform colleagues about my condition to not spook them if I fall asleep or loose focus or anything else mind or memory-related.
Later: felt sleepy and went to take a shower, feels refreshing.
Later: Wife just told me that I had cried last night, dreamed something, she asked me if I remembered what I dreamed or remembered that I had cried. Negative on both. Weird. I don't remember anything of that, maybe some sad dream, I don't remember.
I know this depression and the sessions with the therapist have made me a bit squishy, I tear up for some stuff and are moved by other things. But feelings are not wrong, ever. They are valid and often tell us when something is wrong. I don't mind having a good cry at times, I haven't had any reasons lately though.