Medicated depression, day #186 -- 6 months mark
Slept late and slept bad, woke up when son came to snuggle and nag for screen time around 09.
We had breakfast together and I had my first cup of coffee, afterwards he played some games until a friend called and asked him to come over. I sat down in front of the computer, lasted for about 20 minutes, fell asleep while twiddling with something .. came about and decided it was better to rest on the bed, napped for about an hour.
Made lunch, son apparently can't tell the time as he missed the time we had agreed upon.
Back to twiddling a little on the computer, still feeling tired.
So, it's been about six months since I got my diagnose, things got a bit worse before they got better, I continued to work, but suffered from narcoleptic episodes and had problems with focus and concentration, could not keep thoughts or do abstract thinking. I started with medication which "flattened" my mood, not sad and also not happy, good enough to not feeling miserable all the time. The focus problem and brain-fog I experienced in the beginning .. or had experienced for a few months before getting diagnosed are slowly getting better, I get very tired after just a short period of sitting at a computer and thinking about something mildly complicated .. since I work with systems (plural) that do complicated things, this is where I need to get better.
I haven't heard anything from employer the last couple of weeks, I was at the office in beginning of July to have lunch and just hang out with them .. but nothing since then.
About work .. I dreamed the other night that when I checked a bank statement there was a lot of money, a bit too much as a salary payout, contacted the employer and they said that it was "severance package" and that I was terminated .. I woke up really sad and it set the mood for that whole day .. even though I KNOW it was just a dream I was sad.
I'd like to back to work soon, but if my mushy brain is going to be mushy, it doesn't feel right, as I would bill for time that is unproductive .. but I dunno. I hope my brain restores itself to some state before it got mushy.