Medicated depression, day #185
I woke up early, 05 and just thought it was too early, turned and dozed off again, woke up next time some time after 09 .. by son nagging me for screen time.
Twiddled a bit with the computer for 20 minutes, got really tired and went to rest, listen to podcasts and fell asleep and slept for about an hour.
Made lunch for me and son, he attempted to fry something by himself, failed and called for me .. taught him about heat transfer, as we have a new frying pan that is really good and it gets hot really fast. Son had burnt the butter and it popped and splattered when he put in the food he was preparing .. I took it out, cleaned the pan and started on a low setting to give time to heat up slowly to a more moderate temperature before adding the food, nothing burnt. He kept saying he sucked at cooking .. nope, just impatient and inexperienced.
I also told him that it hurt me as a part of my illness is that I know I'm very capable but at the same time have strong doubts whispering that I can't do it, can't complete anything, get anything done. I bluntly told him to just shut up, as it hurt me.
I've have short sessions in front of the computer, where I exercise my brain a little in different ways, I usually last 20 to 40 minutes before getting mushy and have to go rest for a while. I don't know how that is going to work after August 1st, as that is the date my current doctors notice expire, it says I should go back on 25% work time .. I doubt that would work with current brain-mush factor. I have a doctors appointment before it goes into effect .. so it can be changed, prolonged, extended or whatever it is called.
I'm missing out on words, have a hard time to remember or recall some words, I can describe the words and tell what they mean but not recall them, sometimes I find them in English and not my native tongue.
I had a narcoleptic episode this morning, just after breakfast, went to the loo and promptly fell asleep, wife woke me up about an hour later.