Medicated depression, day #17
Slept better this night, some 6.5 hours even, my normal sleep is about 5.5 hours, sometimes less, like 2.5 to 4 hours.
Days where I have slept 4 hours or less are a struggle as it is hard to brain, not getting anything useful done. Today I have already solved quite tricky things together with a colleague, which required some thought.
I still feel like a fraud, just waiting for the shoe to drop. The axe to fall. To be found out.
On the other hand, I know I'm capable, that I know stuff, that I have wide experience and knowledge. In many cases I'm more experienced than colleagues in some areas, deeper and legacy knowledge, about inner workings of things and background and history of stuff.
But still I have this irrational thoughts. Those thoughts that bring me down.
Some of these thoughts have decreased, but not all of them, since I started medicating, doctor questioned me about noticeable effects, as they weren't that many just a few days in, they said that we will check further later on.
One of the side-effects of taking the medication would be decreased sex-drive, funny enough, it has increased.