Medicated depression, day #132
Woke up well after wife and son left this morning, had breakfast and went to rest for a bit, fell asleep and slept 1.5 hours.
Son came home around 15 and I've been up since, sipping coffee though cold.
Wife is arriving within the hour so I guess we will either have dinner or go out for a grocery run.
My brain is still mush, I can do simple repetitive stuff, like looking up something and extrapolate a little, add it to a document, rinse and repeat. This fits one of my small projects, lots of data entry, usually soul crushingly boring, but now I find it stimulating. Slow progress.
Itty bitty pieces of code are also possible.
But larger concepts, like thinking about how services would relate to each other or how something would scale .. is meh.
Last night, two fuses blew in the middle of the night, it smelt like something electrical had become hot, I flipped the fuses on again and nothing happened.
Most of my infrastructure has gone down, servers have gone tits up, my main workstation lost the disk where /home were mounted, a few months of work gone as there were stuff I hadn't pushed to github yet.
I got the question from my son the other day, about what and how a depression feels, I couldn't answer him .. as it is complicated but said I would think about it for a while and tell him later, he was satisfied with that response .. but I need to reflect on that a bit, describe it for myself .. put thoughts to words.